Finally Adjusting

Pretty good morning when there are elk in your driveway, huh?

I think I am finally adjusting to the change from life in a big city to life in Estes Park. I know it's been over four months, but this has been an exceptionally hard transition for me. Most of it has to do with the fact that I left a job I really loved and was unable to find another one until very recently. I was idle for the better part of four months and that's essentially a recipe for disaster for me. That, coupled with the fact that we live in a fairly remote location, added to the rough winter, left me feeling like I was stuck in a box for a long time. Every time I went down the valley and visited Fort Collins, I missed it a lot, and I started having some doubts about living here for a long time, which put me between a rock and a hard place knowing that we're here for the long haul.

Now that I have a job and I'm out of the house more regularly, things are getting better. Spring is on its way and I don't feel so isolated and stuck in my house all day. I can open up the windows and listen to the birds and hear the world outside. The last time I visited Fort Collins, I didn't miss it quite as much. I think I am finally becoming okay with living here in Estes Park.

I am still feeling slightly wobbly with my new job, although everyone seems to be telling me the opposite regarding my performance. I am having a difficult time making myself feel confident with my job, maybe because I feel so much pressure to be great. Most of that is myself, I know. I have high standards for myself. I don't want to let anyone down. I still seem to wake myself up every night over-thinking details from my last shift which keeps me up most of the night. I am ready to feel confident and be able to sleep through the night knowing I did a good job at work. Coupled with all of this doubt, I know, is the fact that Cameron and I haven't quite been able to coordinate our work schedules yet, with the result that I am working when he is off and vice versa, which has been another frustrating transition. I haven't yet been able to get a good rhythm down as far as balancing work life and home life, so because of that I also haven't done any writing in several weeks which is starting to get to me too. With any luck, soon this transition will start to feel more complete and everything will begin to fall into place. I know that with summer coming on I will be even more busy than I am now, so it is critical to get into a confident swing.

In any event, the weather is finally turning here and Estes is looking beautiful. We are still waiting for everything to bloom--but spring is definitely on its way to the Rocky Mountains.